16 Aug Le bon Voyage

“When going through Lifebook in December of last year, one of the breakthroughs I had was realizing the incompetence I had developed concerning my most important relationships. I have been so focused for the past 10 years on my careers, first as a high school teacher, then pursuing my chiropractic education and starting a fast growing chiropractic wellness center, that I badly neglected other important categories of life, particularly my relationships. It came into crisp focus that the relationship most in need of repair was with my wife, Christina.

Though our wellness center is focused on the health and well being of our practice members, the responsibilities my wife and I had taken on in furthering this vision had clearly taken us in a different direction, at least in the psychological dimension. We still communicated openly, but rarely deeply. We still looked forward to spending non-work time together, though this time was increasingly shorter and the connections less meaningful. The passion and the fire that we used to have—a force that others used to comment on when we’d walk into a room—was merely a few warm coals that glowed occasionally when fanned.

Earlier in 2008 we knew we needed to take steps to improve our relationship and, therefore, our quality of life. We planned to attend Lifebook and, shortly after, take our first winter holiday to a warm weather destination—our first holiday with just the two of us in over 2 years. We decided to head to Saint Martin in the French West Indies.  We left a frigid mid-western winter behind and walked out of the airport in Saint Martin, with our Lifebooks in hand, to 80-degree weather and intense sun. I immediately had a sense of the great week to come.

The transition wasn’t too easy, though. It took about two days to fully shake the feeling that there must be something urgent that needed my attention. Once we both realized that deciding which beach to go to and what type of fresh bread to buy from the boulangerie were our most pressing issues, it all began to flow.

We talked, we relaxed, we read our Lifebooks, and we deeply reconnected. We held hands and it was easy to feel a fresh energy running between us. It raised powerful memories of early in our relationship, when we scarcely even needed to use words to communicate our love for each other.  I have once again had a taste of how rich our life can be with a deep connection, and I am devoted to mustering all of my power to create an exceptional life with my love relationship as the centerpiece. Christina and I, in our wedding vows, promised each other that we would ‘make love, honesty, and trust the foundation of our marriage; to take time to listen and share, to offer support and encouragement, to respect each other as individuals and grow together through all of our challenges and adventures’. Above all, we promised to love each other all of our lives.

Our first trip together following Lifebook was fantastic. We plan on taking at least two trips like that each year to reconnect. We also plan on sustaining our connection on a much higher level during our everyday lives. In my Lifebook I wrote these two things that will guide my decisions as I think about what is truly worthy of my valuable time.

• Developing, maintaining, and continually growing my relationship with Christina is the single most direct way to fully experiencing the glory of my life.
• Honoring and respecting the opportunity to fully experience life is the greatest expression of spirituality.

The path to take is clear and simple, though not necessarily easy. But I’m ready to step up to the plate—through all our challenges and adventures—and knock this one out of the park.

Make it Great,

Chris Grier