25 Aug Finding the courage to walk through life’s doors

Written by: Lifebook Member John O.

In health and wellness, I was inspired to begin meditation on a nightly basis.

I have never meditated before. I have no training in meditation nor have I ever read about it. I simply closed my eyes, took deep breaths and cleared my mind.

At the end of a 15-minute session, I had a vision.

I was standing in front of a wall of locked doors. I had unlocked several but it was clearly taking me a long time to open each door. I looked up and saw that the wall extended on forever in all directions. I felt frustrated. I felt like I would never have enough time to get to all my doors.

I then saw my group at Lifebook, all standing in front of the doors in their lives, some locked, some unlocked, and some opened. Some were unwilling to walk through and some had their doors wide open for us all to see. Each member had their keys in their hands. Some were banging their heads and hands on their doors. There was so much sadness, stress, frustration and uncertainty.

A young woman in our group explained how she had always idealized herself as a future mother. However, in the past 2 years, she has begun to question that.

She is a 5th grade elementary school teacher, having spent the past several years educating children with all types of learning challenges and disabilities. From ADHD, to Downs Syndrome, she has witnessed first hand the challenges and energy it takes to foster these children. She was with them for just a few hours a day, but she couldn’t imagine the personal struggles the couples with these children must endure.

She was terrified. She used the word terrified several times. It was pointed out by several others in the group. She was terrified because her relationship with her husband is very fulfilling. Their bond is strong. She was worried that bringing a child with a learning disability into her relationship could ruin everything she has built and loves about her relationship with her husband.

When she visits with the parents of her challenged students, they are filled with love. When working with them, she feels that love, too. She also agrees that her bond with her husband is strong. However, something was still holding her back. She wasn’t sure when she’d be ready or if she’d ever be ready to have children.

While she was talking, I looked around the room at several in the group who had children. They were smirking. I have always been sensitive to those who smirk. I’m not sure people are always aware they are doing it. Nobody in my life smirked more than my Grandparents. My mentors smirk. My parents make me smirk.

To me, a smirk means that you know, recognize or have learned a truth about the world. It’s a way of pointing it out to yourself and others, without having to let anybody else know it’s there. It’s life’s little way of letting us know, you’ve seen that journey before.

When she was through, they jumped in immediately. The answer was  so entirely obvious to them. This was a door they unlocked and had already walked through. As it turns out, there was nothing to be terrified of.

They unanimously agreed, you will just know. A couple in the group discussed how they had a similar struggle. They had such a loving and passionate relationship that started so quickly. They were engaged after dating 1 week, and married after just 7 months of being together. Others in their lives thought they were pregnant, but years passed and clearly this was an act of true love.

They hesitated to make the decision to have children as well. They were worried about ruining the great bond that existed between them. They were used to hearing the roderick about how once you have kids, everything changes. Several years passed and then one day, a family member announced they were pregnant. Just like that, they were ready. They knew they were ready.

That door was locked for them. They didn’t have the keys to open it. They were worried what they might see or how they may change once they stepped through it. It took time and the inspiration from another family member to finally unlock that door so that they could have the courage to walk through it.

I don’t know that the question, “What is the key to life?” has any single origin. However, I do recognize that we all accept it as one of the fundamental questions we must face from the time we are born to the time our take our last breathe.

What is the key, to life? The key. This came from my visualization. It’s in the question. There is no key to life. The key to life is that life is a series of keys for opening doors. Only through sharing, trading and connecting with others can we see all our doors and unlock them.

What Lifebook is taught me is that the doors exist; for all of us; and they are by no means random. They are neatly organized into 12 categories that tie into every facet of what makes us human. Each door represents a belief in our lives, waiting to be challenged by our courage.

If you want to find all your doors, you must have the courage to have more beliefs. If you want to open more doors you must have the will to connect with others on a deeper spiritual level. However, It is up to you to gather the courage to walk through those doors when they are unlocked.

We choose which of our doors to open.

We choose which of our doors to keep locked.

We choose the people who we let see our doors.

We choose to have the courage to walk through our doors.

We choose to walk through our doors because it is only then, can we reach our full potential.

The most important realization that has happened for me during this experience is that I don’t have all the keys. I will never have all the keys. I was born never meant to be able to open all my doors.

My ability to feel fulfilled in life is completely dependent on my ability to share and learn and be courageous enough to spend more time opening doors, and less time trying to unlock all my doors myself. That starts with having a clear mind and body. It is organized by our intellect. It is influenced by our emotions. It is built by our character. It grows through our spirit and love relationships. It is challenged by our parenting. It is fostered through our friendships. It is realized through our financial life. It is actualized by our careers. It results in a better quality of life.

If I hadn’t spent just 15 minutes meditating, this realization and this vision would not have happened. If I hadn’t witnessed the courage and transformation that can happen to people I just met, this would not have happened. It is through the lens of Lifebook, can we begin to visualize the doors of our lives and choose to have the courage to walk through them… but perhaps this time, together.