08 May 5 Gifts Of Love (they’re not what you think!)

Even after all this time the Sun never says to the Earth, “You owe me.”
Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky.
– Hafiz

Is your love conditional? How about your kindness?

Is the amount you give to others dependent upon the amount you receive?

If we want to create and enjoy truly extraordinary love relationships (or any relationship for that matter), we must discipline ourselves to give without expectation of the return. We must become the people we need to become in order to create positive, lasting change in our lives. It all begins within us.

Undivided Attention

Listen without interruption, distraction or judgment. Even if you’re busy, put your lover first and give them the gift of your undivided attention. Allow them to become your focus. Look into their eyes when they speak to you. Don’t interject your thoughts while they’re trying to formulate theirs. Hold your tongue, give them space to encourage their heartfelt sharing. Let them know you’re present… you’re here… you’re with them. The more you demonstrate this behavior to your partner, the more willing and enthusiastic they will be when speaking openly and honestly with you.

Enduring Kindness

We all have moments of anger and hurt. But the more negativity we put on a situation, the more destruction we create for our loved ones, our relationship and ultimately ourselves. Mark Twain said, “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” When we act out in anger we only push ourselves farther away from what we truly want.

Maintaining an unbreakable kindness gives us the reminder, clarity and strength we need to keep a positive flow of energy and love even in difficult situations, making obstacles much easier to overcome together. Here’s a quick tip: Get clear on your ideal positive outcome of a situation before going into a discussion about it, then align all of your feelings and actions toward that goal.

The Honest Truth

Communication is the number one key to any successful relationship. Being able to feel, identify, open, and share your feelings with your loved one is critical if you want to attain the depth, consciousness and connectedness necessary for truly extraordinary relationships. Always be honest with your lover and share your feelings openly, from a place of kindness and compassion.

Absolute Forgiveness

Remember that everyone makes mistakes. Learn to forgive without punishing or holding onto resentment. Chances are the more supportive and loving you are, the more they will want to do good and support you in return. Growth can only come from a loving, supportive and nurturing place. Remember this when things get rocky.

Unwavering Trust

It’s been proven that when you put high and positive expectations on a person (demonstrating true belief in them), they tend to try to prove you right. Always expect that your partner will do the right thing, make good decisions and act in their very best judgment (even if it isn’t necessarily aligned with your best judgement). Always, always, always give them the benefit of the doubt. Never accuse and never assume. Believe in your lover and their abilities and actions with ironclad conviction. Let them know that you see them and believe in them with all your heart and soul.

Practice these 5 “gifts” of love, even just for a day, and watch the positive transformation they bring into your love relationship…