07 Dec 4 Ways To Stop Fighting About Money & Get On The Same Team

Money is one of the most popular topics for argument between couples. What starts out as an intention for discipline and awareness can quickly turn into a barrage of negative emotions; frustration, stress, overwhelm, judgment – the list goes on.  We’ve all been there.  But does it really have to be that way?

The answer is ABSOLUTELY NOT.  As a matter of fact, it CAN’T be that way if we want to achieve financial freedom, live our very best lives, and experience extraordinary love relationships.

With a little positive persistence and conscious calculation, you and your partner can be on the road toward financially free (and stress free) discussions in no time.

Here are 5 ways to stop fighting and start growing as an empowered team:

1.  Play for the same team

Possibly the single most important step in accomplishing a life of shared abundance is being on the same team as your partner.

Being on the same team aligns you and moves you in the same direction, toward growth and expansion. Having total trust and confidence in one another creates the space that is needed for optimal growth and improvement. You can’t simultaneously have an experience of blame AND support, scarcity AND abundance, confidence AND doubt.  You must consciously CHOOSE which attitude serves you best, and focus single-mindedly on creating that in your interactions with your partner.

This doesn’t mean that you won’t ever have disagreements or arguments about finances again (or anything else for that matter).  It simply means that both of you know, without ANY doubt, that you are FOR each other.  You are on the same side, fighting for the same cause.

And what is the most important thing a team has to know?  The Game Plan.

2.  Create your game plan

A team that goes onto the field without a game plan is going to lose the game.  If your goals, strategies and values are different from your partner’s, or aren’t clearly defined, you will pull each other in separate directions.

You must develop a winning plan that works for both of you, so you can stay on the same team when the game gets rough.

What are some things you see in your long-term vision?  Can you work toward being debt-free in one year? Can you set a goal to live within your means, and spend less than you earn?  Can you anticipate more of your expenses and be prepared when they arise?  A little foresight can go a long way…

Create your game plan and put it in place, then begin working toward it. But don’t expect things to change overnight.  This stuff takes practice, discipline and commitment.  Support each other, set expectations and remember that no matter how good your plan is, there is one thing you can be sure of – things won’t always go according to plan!

3.  Get knocked down, get back in the game

Even if you have the best game plan in the world you can be sure that unexpected circumstances will arise and knock you off track.  And THESE are the make-it or break-it moments when your plan will either fall to pieces and things will go back to the way they were – OR when you and your partner will put your heads together, adjust the plan, and get right back in the game.

Consistent communication is key here, and it can be very helpful to schedule a quarterly, monthly or even weekly ‘check point’ with each other, depending on where you’re at in your financial journey.  Creating a plan is only the beginning – MAINTAINING it is the challenge.  But if you stick together, anticipate obstacles, and keep your eye on the prize, you will be able to deal with anything that comes your way and keep moving closer to your goal.

4.  Know your position

Often times financial arguments aren’t even about money – they’re about the deeper issues associated with money; insecurity, power, mistrust, attention, imbalance…  Money management and value creation are tied to the deepest parts of our self-esteem and identity.  They represent our ability to provide value, contribute to the big picture, and fulfill the roles we play in our lives.  So you can see why there is so much tension and stress associated with this area.

One of the greatest things you can do to express yourself clearly and effectively is to get to the source of the problem. What is influencing your aggression, or depression?  Are you stressed because of work? Do you feel like you do the lion’s share, and you don’t have support?  Do you feel like you aren’t doing enough? Whatever the issue is, it CAN be resolved through communication, consciousness and connection.

When sharing these deeply valuable feelings, remember your ultimate purpose: To strengthen, nurture and grow your relationship and your life. Look at it as if you are giving your partner a gift – you are giving a part of yourself to them.  Will it be angry or insightful?  Will it be destructive or productive?  Will it lead you to deeper connection or greater separation?

As you continue to apply energy and awareness to these areas of your life, you will become closer, stronger and more in sync with your partner, and your finances will follow suit.

What are some of your strategies for creating abundance in your relationship and financial life? Share your wisdom with us by commenting below!